Well, I'm going to be blunt about it, society, social behaviour and societal constructs have ruined my life up to now.
Grade and High School Bullying
What do they tell you? Go see the teacher. Went. Went to see Principal. Nothing happened. Bully still bullied. What do they call you? The teachers would call me a drama queen because kids would call me fat and ugly and I got hurt by them. ''You have nothing to be hurt about.'' Sure. So! I hated school. I loved home, thankfully!! Hated school and I never told my parents that I was heavily bullied because I didn't want them to worry. I admitted to my mom at the age of 21 (yesterday) what had happened. She was pissed, but I realized that it was the most altruistic thing I had ever done in my life.
Consequences
Broken fundamentals lead your life later on and I was angry at myself for being sad (like they blamed me for being) and I was sad because I was angry. Vicious cycle made me into a monster in High School until 2 wonderful people accepted me for being a monster... those people I love them with my entire heart not because they tried to be my friend, because they were. They saw that I was really just trapped and they lent me a hand. I started to write at this point. Without writing, I don't think I would be here today.
Later in my life, I realized that I was obsessed with being thin. I wasn't and now, I'm 21 and I can't eat because I'm afraid of being fat. I was never fat but so many people called me fat in the past, so I thought I was. I still think I am. So now I'm afraid of food. Fail.
ALL THIS! Because schools have the wrong system. They hire incompetent workers to deal with students with huge problems. Had my home and school been hell, I would have killed myself. Still, today I have a wonderful life, and I still think often of committing suicide, because I hurt so much and I find that the system the whole world is broken and it is useless to try anything in front of corporations. So I blog. I blog because I want to change things, and I don't care if 5 people read this, 5 people can make a change.
NEVER send your kid to an over-populated school. Be nice with your teen especially if he is very angry, it probably means that he's very sad. (Or she). Confront your child about bullying. Confront the school about bullying! BE a concerned parent! Confront the parents of bullies! Look at me now. I'm 21, graduating from University, non-conformist, minimalist, basically a hippie, and that's all good, but I can't find the energy to love myself. I can't eat, I can't love others properly. I hurt people that I love because I'm so confused about who I am, and what I want.
The school I went to was Alexander Galt. It's a shit hole. Don't ever send your child there, especially if they're artistic. It's for jocks with no souls.
If you are this child. It's YOUR time. Take the opportunity to do something RADICAL. Print out anti-bullying posters. Write the names of your bullies and call them off and print 1000 copies of it. Arrive at school early and tape them to the walls of the school. (Hopefully no one will see you) but if they figure you out, what are they going to do? If your bullies lay a FINGER on you, they can be charged and can go to juvi or be suspended. Scream in the hallway if your bully menaces you : YOU LIKE HURTING PEOPLE! YOU LIKE IT? YOU'RE A PSYCHOPATH AND YOU HAVE NO FEELINGS! YOU DISGUST ME AND YOU MAKE THE LIVES OF EVERYONE AROUND YOU SHIT! YOU'RE THE MOST DISGUSTING PERSON ON THE PLANET TO ME AND I WISH THAT YOU DIDN'T EXIST. IF YOU DIDN'T EXIST, MY LIFE WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER! GO AWAY! I DON'T EVER WANT TO LOOK AT YOUR FACE AGAIN BECAUSE IT BRINGS ME PAIN AND SORROW! YOU CAN TAKE YOUR WORDS AND TELL THEM TO A MIRROR AND SEE HOW MUCH IT HURTS! (You'll probably be crowned a hero if you do this!) Tell the teacher and go to the principal and tell them very straight out: I'm being extremely bullied and no one is doing anything about it because this system is incompetent and I think I'm going to complain to whoever is higher placed than you. If it's the police, MAY IT BE. If the no one is helping you, you can call the police and they can find some people who will FIRE those teachers and that SHITTY principal. REVOLUTION, PEOPLE! THIS IS OUR EARTH! THIS IS OUR LIFE! FUCK THE SYSTEM! THEY'RE NOTHING BUT DRONES! Be free, love and live and laugh!
I really like this post :) (Also, Galt indeed is a complete shit school, with shit staff that have no fucks) (Or at least my experience and perception leads me to write that).
ReplyDeleteHigh School in general is a bad place for creative minds (eg, people that actually make it in life). The football hero, jocks etc put so much time and effort into things that do not matter in life, that they are dysfunctional in life.
As for bullying, I was also bullied a lot in both primary and secondary. Luckily, as with you, there are select friends without whom it would seem nearly impossible to get through five years of prison.
I found such a dynamic shift going to CEGEP after secondary school.
I have never once been bullied since High School. Probably because at the post secondary level, everyone who is there is there completely out of choice. A lot of people in high school kind of know they are losers not going anywhere in life so they just fuck with people who have a future.
I could go on and on about High School. It is one of the most important reasons I will not ever have children. This world is fucked up and it would seem rather narcissistic of me to just ignore that and tell my 20 something year old child: Get a job, make a living, survive k thx bye.
Psychological and physical bullying do indeed permanently shape people and even if we consciously know that they are wrong, it absolutely does create insecurities that cannot simply be overcome by just having someone tell you "No, it's okay, just ignore them, yadi ya, sticks and stones bullshit..".
Anyhow, thanks for posting about this. It is a very important topic.
Thank YOU for replying your experience. :) Also, don't dismiss having children because of the system. I didn't know if I wanted to have children myself but then I realized that I can't take in so much knowledge, that I have to pour out and to have my own child is to bring into this world a child that I will raise myself. I mean, there are alternative lifestyles like living on a farm or in a commune where kids can learn social skills but don't have to go to school, where there are stupid amounts of bullying happening. Fuck the system, you know? :P
ReplyDelete