Hey everyone! Sorry that I couldn't post, I've been going through some really difficult times :( But I wrote this in the meanwhile, from my 5th rewrite of my book, Shambles. Hey Oli, I know you read my posts, so thanks for supporting me. I love you, happy Valentine's Day! :))
Repression
My abdominal muscles pained me. Dear, they pained me. I could still hear his voice echoing in my head and my heart ached along with the rest of the soul.
I lay there, in total agony as his words penetrated me and violated my entire existence. I was curled up like a foetus in an artificial womb, in the abrasive warmth of hospital sheets. I could not describe what I felt, but I knew that all I wanted was it to be gone.
Dear, the pain! The sting of the salt on my cheeks, my tears raking the blood out of me. It hurt, mother! It hurt father! It hurt, God, it hurt! I churn and toss my body, and I yearn to no longer feel. I want it to be all a dream. I want to smell the oleanders by my seaside home. I want to have the breeze caress me and hear the spirits whisper in the wind.
But this ground, this chain, I cannot bare being tied to. The sun sets again, and again and again. Hateful thing it is, for leaving me. And my stomach hurts because I cannot hold on. And my stomach hurts because I cannot eat. All I can take in are his words, that rebound into a verisimilitude of helplessness. If not this, then that.
But the sun set again and I hear a new voice at my doorframe. I do not know who this person may be, but he asks softly, like a cloud, “Is she the one?”
I can see the spotlight lighting me and I can feel the hardwood floor beneath my feet. I can see the cushioned seats and the lace twirling up my legs like a soft wild vine. I am a delicate doll and he, I can see him, he is my ring leader.
“She hasn’t ceased crying for five days now. I’m not sure she’ll even know you’re there,” says his voice. My ears bleed to hear him again. I don’t... want to believe what he said to me was true, but I heard it and it was enough to hurt me.
And then I see a new face sit down on the bench next to my bed. I look at him with my tired eyes and he smirks at me a bit. A bit, but then his expression reverts to neutral.
“I’m not going to call you by who you used to be. I know what you are feeling, it’s a talent of mine. You’re a dancer, aren’t you?”
My heart cries out the agony and his words, his words rape me suddenly again and again. No. Yes. I nod my head. I am a dancer.
“You know what you are. You’re a performer, you’re a star in the dark night. Tell me, if I tell you I can give you freedom, will you join me?”
I cannot understand him correctly. My mind is so full of lies and truths. I don’t know what to keep and what to throw away. I look at him again. I cannot take my eyes away from him. Had I never seen a man in my life?
“Will you sit for me?” he asks.
Yes. I will sit for you. I do, and he takes my hand. He kisses it; his lips are freezing cold. Have I been here until winter?
Suddenly, his hand reaches for the sheets and peels them away from me. I want to scream. I want to cry again, but I am dry. I shake my head.
“I am responsible for this. I should have known information before. This would have never happened had I followed my... instincts. Your memories heal you, don’t they? You find peace in forgetting and remembering?”
Did I? I just feel like crying again. I don’t know why it hurts; I don’t know why I am so frightened suddenly. Of course I know why. I caress my thigh, my knee, and then my hand is already on the bed, it falls and it startles me. I... I once... This can’t be real...
“Breathe,” he tells me, touching my shoulder gently. I realize that I am hyperventilating and I nod once and control myself. He smiles, this time more broadly. His own hand finds his heart and he closes his eyes. When he opens those acid green eyes again, my eyes are watering again.
“I will take care of you,” he says. “I will be your father.”
“My father...?” I ask. My voice seems to falter, as if I had forgotten how to speak. My vocal chords pain me and he puts his index to his mouth.
“Don’t speak, I know what you’re feeling. It’s all right. It hurts, doesn’t it, what the doctor told you? You were under shock at the moment. But this... this is nothing to me, nothing I can’t mend and make better. I am willing to make you mine, as long as you promise one thing.” He waited for me and I nodded promptly enough. “You have to promise me that you’ll kill yourself. You’ll abandon this life and move on with me to something else. I’m not telling you that you’ll feel better, I’m not sure you’ll feel at all. But know that I will let you do the only thing that you ever wanted to do.”
I didn’t understand, but death seemed a plausible case of action for me at the time. I held out my hand and he caressed his own into mine. Oh dear, the cold warmth of him, as if I had never known a man. What was a man? After meeting him, I knew that things would change. I knew that I would never be the same girl I was before.
That night, he saved me and I... saved him.
Fin
I never wrote much on these two, but I really like them. :)
Character of the Day:
Sedus, 1st Son of Lucifer
Appearances: Placid Devils, Spare Soul, Shambles, TAFOW.
Bio: Sedus was made at the same time as his sister, Emery. Lucifer made them both with dark hair and acid green eyes. Sedus rules over a third of the Udacorra, the Entertainment section, (the two others are Torture and Rest). Sedus is an easy-going Devil who takes care of Godchild events such as Deus ex Machina events involving Satine. Sedus gets lonely after a few thousand years of life and decides to Hades himself a bride from Earth. Cella. She visits him in the Winter and Spring, for a change. :p Sedus is not cruel like his brother Torva and more mature than his kid brother Leatio. Lucifer considers him as a failed angel, a reminder of himself before his fall.
Thanks for following! :)
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